When I look back, it was the people I cared about most deeply that hurt me the most. Makes me wonder, though. Is it really because they gave me greater scars? Or did I inflict the pain upon myself by naively expecting that they, of all people, wouldn’t ever be bad to me?
have you ever just looked at someone and thought, my fucking god i love you. i love every goddamn ounce. i love your bones and your soul. but I’m a loser, who just doesn’t wanna lose you. i can lose fucking everything, but not you. oh god. not you.
With a job that my mother says will be easier to deal with than at the market, I have full on faith that I will make it to my goals. With keeping busy and the pressure of time management, I expect better outomes from myself.
If anything, I’m excited to get my driver’s license and drive my first car sometime this year, or early next year.
This time around, I must be more disciplined and save money. I want to travel, don’t I? I will set a budget for myself depending on how much I earn a month.
New things are both exciting and scary.
DO YOU EVER WANNA MEET SOMEONE IN PERSON SO BAD YOU GET ALL EXCITED THINKING ABOUT IT AND MENTALLY PLAN OUT A DAY EVEN THOUGH ITS NEVER GONNA HAPPEN